I’m awake and blessed. The window of my room reflects light and I salute the tree moved by the wind. Simple first breathings of the morning.
The sheets whisper me the truth of the night. If they are sticky, I notice my body being pulled out of a war, no rest for my wicked path. But if the sheets felt like soft arms, a delicate atmosphere remains, showing a present gift of a delightful journey.
In this case, I observed myself diving into the sheets trying to repair and find comfort. What I found was an energy of confrontation with a day that was already fully awake versus a confused and heavy human.
The previous days I drank alcohol and the results of those meetings with friends left me with a bitter taste. I discover how tired I am of trying to figure out my life instead of living it.
I talk and talk, heard a lot of stories, felt violence, felt anger and sadness coming and going around my circles. Coming and going also as a mirror of my own heart. Watching and sensing this drowning tides, I couldn’t do nothing but pray for being strong and wise, capable of establishing healthy boundaries, capable to love, accepting what happens inside the relation with others.
I pronounce words every morning. I verbalize to the force that opens my eyes every day, words of power and gratitude. And in strong days like today, I carry sadness, confusion, and concern.
First, I moved my arm to reach the phone, but it felt down the bed and hit an empty glass making it crack. Can you imagine the noise of that broken object? That noise was an alarm. I looked at the floor. What a mess!
I wanted to keep nestling inside the bed, but the image of that glass spread in the floor next to me touched a silent corner of my psyche. I felt broken. The fears started to speak from that moment, inside I started to hear the fear of losing the unity of my family, the desperation for begging love, the retraction of the self that is afraid to give and offer its energy.
What a revolution can cause a broken glass that served as a clear image of how I feel.
I joined as I could the dangerous parts, I felt no shame for the glass, I was even released. Little by little I gain trust. Minute by minute of this long and precious day, I gain devotion to this process, to this horizon, to this messy body.
Adi Shakti is a mantra that invokes and honors the feminine energy, the creativity and the trust of the cycles in life.
I wish you can sing and listen deeply your whole.
I wish you a strong relation